Don”t Rock the Boat

We all learn rules to abide by in our families of origin. All too often the rules are stifling, limiting, unhealthy; what we call dysfunctional. One such rule is “Don’t Rock the Boat”. Of course there are times that not rocking the boat allows us to not tip over and drown. One of the clients I worked with today however was conditioned/programmed to keep her opinions and needs to herself most of the time. Her mothers emotional wounds were so great they dominated the family’s focus and energy, and the daughter was left hurting, neglected.  To emotionally survive and to try to help her mother, she didn’t rock the boat. And so, through her life she has all to often allowed others needs and opinions to dominate, never standing her ground.    BUT, Today with EMDR — we reprocessed that long held survival belief and self-definition. And as is typically true, now she will be able to have her territory, speak her mind and hold her own as a healthy mature adult woman does.

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