EMDR is always remarkable when it shows a trail of links that are surprising. Once they are revealed however, it helps us see just how all of us can get caught in a snare that we never knew existed within us. Last week a client was re-experiencing anxiety when caught in traffic. As we began the work of the session, his words that described his negative self-talk were, “I’m stuck and can’t move forward or backward.” As is often the case, quickly in the session, he was recalling two childhood events, one with a nurse and one with a dentist. In both cases, he was terrified because he was being given a shot (‘stuck’ by a needle) and restrained by the professional. As the process of EMDR can, we moved into reprocessing those events so that “being stuck in traffic–unable to move forward or backward” didn’t trigger the panic of his “inner child”. Always a wonderful experience to see a client get free.
Monthly Archive for May, 2010
Felt drawn to a new book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, by Eker. I have found his information very powerful in my own recent exploration of how I see myself as money maker, what my negative self-talk is and where it comes from. When I did the first exercise he has you do, I also employed the headset drumbeat as I know how much that helps retrieve the “original program” in my selfhood. And because I know how to position the processing, I also can see how much I have already healed. The processing has moved some very significant old distorted beliefs about myself and my place in the world as a money maker in to right thinking and knowing. EMDR has so many applications. No one needs to be trapped in limitation from the past. We really do have a tool (EMDR) that moves your awareness at the speed of light.
We all learn rules to abide by in our families of origin. All too often the rules are stifling, limiting, unhealthy; what we call dysfunctional. One such rule is “Don’t Rock the Boat”. Of course there are times that not rocking the boat allows us to not tip over and drown. One of the clients I worked with today however was conditioned/programmed to keep her opinions and needs to herself most of the time. Her mothers emotional wounds were so great they dominated the family’s focus and energy, and the daughter was left hurting, neglected. To emotionally survive and to try to help her mother, she didn’t rock the boat. And so, through her life she has all to often allowed others needs and opinions to dominate, never standing her ground. BUT, Today with EMDR — we reprocessed that long held survival belief and self-definition. And as is typically true, now she will be able to have her territory, speak her mind and hold her own as a healthy mature adult woman does.
Recently worked with a 4-year-old girl who was having fear that was beginning to generalize. She had unfortunately been accidentlally locked out of her home for a few minutes before her Dad realized and from that moment forward became terribly frightened to be alone. The anxiety was beginning to generalize so that the girl was not leaving her Mom’s side and became nervous if Mom was not in sight. Her mom had struggled herself with panic attacks historically that were resolved 15 years ago with me through EMDR tx. Because of that history the mom wanted to make sure her daughter did not struggle with this long. After about one-half hour — with some drawing, talking and the biolateral drumbeat, the daughter was convinced she could play now without worrying about where her mother was at all times. The 4-year-old has been back to her normal and relaxing just fine ever since.
Happy Mothers Day to everyone. This year I lost my own mother and so today will be a day of reflection and gratitude for the amazing person she was and my great fortune in being her daughter. And of course, my hope and attempts to pass all of her gifts and more to my own children.
Being a mother is so complex. It provokes all your demons, challenges you to constantly grown and stretch. As a mom you are in a perpetual juggling act, trying to meet needs and hit a stride yourself; a near impossibility at times.
To all of you who have the priviledge of this path in life: Happy Mothers Day